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The Book I Stopped Reading

Hey there!

I’ve been listening to this book. I’ve listen to before. It’s a Stephen King book.  It’s the first book I’ve ever read of his, and it’s a book on writing.  In fact, it’s called Stephen King On Writing. Great book.

One day, during one of my cardio sessions on the treadmill I decided to get a one of his fiction books that he’s so famous for.  It was #1 on amazon, so I figured, why not?

After reading less than a page, I stopped reading.

The name of the book was Full Dark, No Stars. (download the sample and read the first page, you’ll know why)

It started out as personal letter (much like this email) but it sucked me in.  It was so compelling and interesting …

It made me hold my breath for a moment…

Then I stopped.

It was kinda like picking up a food you know you’re not suppose to eat, but then you pick it up anyway after careful consideration

You take a bite..

Then throw in the garbage…

Have you ever done that? I won’t just do that, I’ll throw the whole box or package

away..

-Ryan

PS….

Cool Books I’ve been hoping around

The Stranger by Harlan Coben

Never Split the Difference by Chriss Voss

Presto! By Penn Jillette

The subtle art of not giving a **** by Mark Manson

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney

 

Stop Eating

That was an interesting email. I mean yesterdays. In case you missed it, you can read it here. I posted to my blog.

I said that if you want to lose weight, you need to stop eating. What i really meant was you must eat less.

But I’ve found that when I write it like that, the point sinks in better.

For women it’s different, weight loss is mostly a vanity game. People will kid themselves and say it’s not, but the truth will set you free.

Have you ever watched that movie Black Swan with Natalie Portman? It’s about a ballet dancer. Dieting to become as light as possible is no joke. It’s extreme. It’s not healthy. It’s for performance.

Or art.

Whatever the case maybe, the dancer goes to great lengths to be skinny for her show.

The point is that it works for weight loss. That’s how it works when you can’t get you get stuck at a certain body weight.

*This is exactly what you should NOT do.*

In general, women have a tougher time losing weight than men. It’s the nature of the beast.

A woman can have babies, men cannot. It only makes sense for the childbearing gender have a tough time losing weight…

It increases chances of survival of not just the gender but also the child.

With that said, here’s what you should do:

Focus on your well-being. Focus on feeling good. Focus on building strength and being fit.

This means stress management. It means sleep 8 hours a night.

I’ve been training professionally, going on now my 17th year…

…and when women get stressed out and don’t sleep well, training too often is a train wreck waiting to happen.

Now does this apply to men? Yes, it does, but men’s bodies handle stress better. It responds better to “not eating.”

Generally, women are more patient than men and that’s how women should treat a weight loss goal. Be patient so that you’re healthy and feel good. It’s not so much that women can’t handle dieting extremes..

It’s really more that the extra result a women will get from a dieting extreme is not worth the amount of result you’ll get.

I have a confession to make.

I have a confession to make. Talking about weight loss is boring.

Sometimes I wonder why I even try.  Yeah sure, maybe you need the motivation, but here’s the truth…

Weight loss is simple… if that’s your goal,

Stop eating…

If you get offended or feel that’s not right. Great, we can agree to a disagree.

Match your eating to how you much you move. If you don’t move a lot, you shouldn’t eat a lot.

IF YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE…

ASK FOR HELP.

People complain too much. They make so many excuses for why they can’t exercise or eat healthy…

They just end up talking about how there’s not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough motivation. Not enough energy.

What are you 5 years old?

Don’t even get me started with the silent complainers.

I got news for you, people around you know how you feel (without even saying a word).

Not exact, but they can feel the bad juju when you’re not so chipper.

And lastly, let me address these guys:

The ones that call themselves lazy.

They say they don’t feel like it. They

call themselves old. They say that’s not for them..

Or how about this…

If you call yourself lazy ..

Or even think it, there’s no reason for you to be on my email list.

Being a victim of circumstance is contagious.

I’ve worked really hard (and still do) to not be a little victim.

Someone who blames circumstance for why things aren’t the way they should be.

If that’s you, you should probably unsubscribe. I’ve worked way to hard to get in the mental state I am.

It’s the reason why I don’t train a lot of clients. It’s the reason why I don’t have many close friends.

For the longest time (mostly in my early 20’s) I’ve had to pander for acceptance. To be liked. To be likeable. It really makes me sick you know that?

For the first time in my entire life I’ve finally realize that if I am purely authentic and fully myself, people will like me or they won’t.

That simple. I don’t like tolerating people.

So you might be thinking, what’s with the change in mood? Did something happen?

Are you okay Ryan?

Sigh..

Here’s the funny news, I’ve always been this way. Ask my best friend. Ask my wife. I’ve just been really soft thinking that maybe if I acted like kindergarten teacher that maybe I could help people.

But I’ve come to the realization that those that want to stay, I can help.

Those that leave weren’t someone I was going to help anyway.

So you if you want to look and feel better naked while..

Becoming mentally tough..

Hang out with me in my daily emails and on my blog..

Seinfeld

I just found out that this is what happened in the beginning of the episode.

I was watching Seinfeld on the treadmill while I was on the treadmill today. Between my Kindle book on my iPad Mini and the podcast I was listening to (James Altucher interview with Jewel) …

One could say I have ADHD… but I digress. I think I used that word write. The word digress. But I know write wasn’t right.

Okay back to Seinfeld.

Scene: they’re on an AIRPLANE:

Jerry was on an airplane in first class. Then an attractive blonde (magazine model type) approached him to tell him he was in the wrong seat. With a smile, Jerry moved over..

Meanwhile, in coach, Elaine was sitting in the middle seat between 2 obnoxious passengers.

The whole story appeared to be about how Elaine got a crappy deal with being in coach while Jerry was having the time of his life in 1st class.

I watched it all with subtitle sweating on the treadmill.

Entertaining. Too bad they stopped this show. Huge fan base, easily considered the most successful comedian. I think he’s like worth almost a billion dollars now.

I remember listening to Jack Welch’s Straight from the gut many years ago (back when I had aspiration to be an executive, ha!). Jack Welch is the famous CEO of General electric and the network that Seinfeld was on were connected.

I think it was NBC. I don’t know.

Anyway, the story goes..

Jerry had a conversation on the phone with Jack and said he was done. It was Christmas eve and Jerry was at the office working on the next show…

Missing time with his family…

He couldn’t take it anymore. He was done.

I think that’s how it went.

I had the intention of writing this post comparing first class to coach. The plane is going to the same place, yet for 10x the price you could have a better experience.

Is it worth it?

The Jack Welch story came out of now where. I just remembered as I was writing this.

How to Have More Empathy from…

“I don’t understand why people do that.”

I had a friend say this. It’s usually said in a snooty way. I’m guilty of saying the same expression. It’s not meant to be mean. But it’s almost a conversation starter.

or maybe an expression?

If it’s said with curiosity, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. but that’s rarely the case. It said with a cloud of judgment.

I don’t understand why Kim Kardasian..
I don’t understand why people have tattoos..
I don’t understand why people don’t eat and exercise like the should..
I don’t understand why people use facebook so much..
I don’t understand why you need a fancy and expensive car..
I don’t understand why you want to do that with your life..

I’ve caught myself about to say “I don’t understand…”

..but then I catch myself and think… “I think I can understand why someone would do that…”

brene_brown

Brene Brown is best known for her viral Ted Talk on vulnerability. She also has this RSA video that I saw pop up on Facebook that I shared because…

In less than 3 minutes it explains why most people have problems with empathy.

We’re too quick to want to stop feeling so bad. We’re too quick to help someone else stop feeling so bad. When in reality, what they want, is someone to hurt with them.

Not in the mean pity party way, but in the human connection way of shared experience.

I wanted to write about empathy after watching it with my kids for a bedtime story. When your sister gets sad (talking to my son), she needs someone to be sad with her for a moment.

That was my 5-second dad lesson on emotion.

When I sat to write this blog post out, I when to google and this is what I saw:

how-to-have-more-empathy-husband

It turns out, a decent amount of people are looking for more empathy from their husband. Interesting.. I can see that.

Probably wives google searching.

I think that’s a topic that requires more research and though (not a quick post like this), but I don’t want to leave you empty-handed.

How do you have more empathy from your husband?

I’m not sure, but I can say that if you want more empathy from your husband, they have to feel safe about being empathic. To truly be empathic you have to vulnerable. No one wants to be vulnerable.

more on this in another blog post.

-Ryan

 

5 Tips To a Perfect Day (blog post)

The Perfect Day Formula Book Review

Could it be possible to have a day, where you just absolutely crushed it?

A day of domination, winning every second of every minute of every hour?

Imagine if you got everything you needed to get done with time to spare – making significant progress on your biggest goals,

Yet having enough time to enjoy quality moments with the people you love.

Introducing The Perfect Day Formula

Today’s blog post is about The Perfect Day formula. A book I received from the author, Craig Ballantyne, at a live event last year down in San Diego. That was the first time I met Craig, and I’ll admit I was timid and I regret not getting a photo but…

I’m going to breakdown what I listened to on audio (yes I own the audiobook too), during my workout today.

In a way, this blog post is like a book review of The Perfect Day Formula – which I’ll dub as a time management book on steroids.

5 Keys to a more Productive Day

In chapter 13 he reviews his 5 pillars to having your most productive day. I’m going to write about some things that personally relate to me that you can use for your situation.

Pillar #1: Planning & Preparation

Do your most important task first thing in the morning.  Plan for obstacles so that you can plan around them.  If you what you have to do is really important, plan “counter spells” for what may get in your way.

Creative way of how I tackle exercise and writing

Most of my obstacles are usually mental. I still get them with exercise. It’s like every day I’m having to talk myself into working out. I also get mental obstacles with writing.

Exercise and writing take time. So what I’ve managed to do is combine the two.

While I’m on the treadmill I will outline a blog post or email. Kill 2 birds 1 stone. Boom!

I will typically do a 20-minute run and then walk the rest as I write ideas into Evernote.

A simple way you can plan your day

A shortcut way to do this is to write down the 1 most important thing you need done.

Try this: Write down what you’re most likely to avoid.  I know for many, that’s exercise.  Sure, there are things, but you already do all those things without thinking.  Focus on doing the thing that’s most important you’re most likely to procrastinate on.

I really want to provide specific examples about countering obstacles but I’m having a brain fart at the moment, I’m going to have to come back update this in the future.

Pillar # 2: Get a coach

The irony of being a coach is that I’m the worst at receiving coaching.  I’ve since improved, however, it’s a completely different experience when you invest the money with a personal trainer or business coach.  They hold you accountable.  That’s the most important thing.

By nature, I’m very skeptical, so trusting a coach is really like a personal uphill battle, but when I joined a coaching group last year it change my life.

Seriously, the ultimate shortcut to making leaps and bounds in your progress.

The whole point of getting a coach is mostly about leadership

Getting solid coaching is best summarized like this:

Management is like how you climb a ladder. How efficient each step is, how fast you’re going and how hard you’re working.  Good leadership from a coach is making sure the ladder is leaning against the right building.  In other words, are you putting your energy in the right things?

Pillar #3:  Social Support

Peer pressure is powerful, it’s all a better reason to join a mastermind or coaching group.  Even if you’re not in your own business, being hooked up in the right work environment makes all the difference.  We all need each other to get better.

Good teams make great people.

One of the best things about the internet is you can post your goals on social media or in a private group of like minded individuals.

Something simple as checking in to the gym on Facebook can make a big difference. People will sometimes talk crap about this from time to time, but if it helps you, do it.

Pillar #4: Reward and Incentives

What are you working for? Remind yourself of the big prize. Create a compelling reward for yourself when you reach your goal.

Reward meals are great way to treat yourself when you have a full week of good nutrition.

There could be a pair of shoes, dress or even a gadget that you can set as a splurge purchase target when you achieve your goal.

Like for instance, I have this goal to purchase a DJI drone.  The really expensive one. Once I achieve my goal I’m going to buy the new Mavic Pro.

mavic-pro

Pillar #5: The Big Deadline

The most important pillar of them all.  No one makes it out of life alive.  We are here for a finite amount of time. When I think about ‘the big deadline’ I think about what I want to leave behind.

How do you want to be remembered?

What do you want for your legacy?

It’s a dark thought, but the desire to make a lasting positive impact when you leave this earth is an awesome motivator.

But even before that big deadline, you have to create other deadlines. It’s the reason why we take action. Set a date for a specific result.

Being forced into productivity pushes us in a positive way.

Weight loss bets are another form of deadline creation. Look at the biggest loser, a competition really heats things up.  Or Consider the 4th quarter of almost every sporting event, everybody is so tense when the game is close.

Pressure makes diamonds.

Now it’s your turn, how do these 5 pillars relate in your life. How can use these 5 steps to have a better more productive day?

This is a review of a section in Part 2 in The Perfect Day Formula. There is still so much more good stuff in the book about this section that’s worth reading and rereading.

Even more than that, there are so many more gold nuggets in Part 1 & Part 2. Here’s list of what else is covered:

  • How to control your days
  • The secret to Winning your mornings
  • What to do on a perfect day
  • How to beat procrastination
  • Seven steps to Build Habits of Steel
  • The 10-3-2-1-0 Goodnight Formula to Guarantee Fifteen Minutes of Freedom
  • The NEW Law of Attraction
  • When you should (and shouldn’t) Give up
  • And much, much, more…

Click image to below to order on amazon

perfect-day-formula-book

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Donald Trump,

Hey, what’s up man, How’s it going? I saw your debate with Hilary the other day, and I have, to be honest, I could only watch 4 minutes of it.
From what I hear on Facebook, you didn’t do so well. Sorry Don, we can’t always be at our best (no matter how hard we try to be).

 

 

Anyway, I guessing you’re pretty stressed out. I don’t know what your plan is, but I’m not going to pretend like I know what it’s all about.

 

 

I just know that you’ve upset a lot of people. Lots of people are saying mean things about you and that’s okay, this is a free country after all. But I’m wondering about you. I mean, not as a politician but just as a human being.

 

 

I remember you best from your TV show, The Apprentice and from that book you co-authored with Robert Kiyosaki.

 

 

Ha, that reminds me. I went to a Learning Annex event with a friend where you were the keynote speaker. This was before the real estate market took a dump. Geez, that was almost 10 years ago.

 

 

I know being president of the United States is a big deal and everybody has their opinion about you but remember you’re still Donald Trump, just like I’m Ryan Saplan.

 

 

What I mean by that is it’s so easy to get caught up with what the external world says about you and when it’s a lot of people saying this stuff…

 

 

They say stuff that’s either worse than you really are or better than you really are. It’s never the complete truth.

 

 

I’m sure if someone reads this letter who’s very anti-trump, I bet you anything they will probably hate me too.

 

 

I don’t know you as a politician. I don’t know how you’d be as President. In fact, I don’t know you at all. I’ve never met you.

 

 

I just thought that when you’re as big as you are in the media, I think it’s nice to be treated like a normal human being once in a while.

 

 

I know, sounds crazy right?

 

 

Every once in a while, I’ll see this meme on Facebook that says “Be Kind, Always.” And whenever I get all worked up, I try to think about that “motivation meme.”

 

 

I know some will say you’re not kind, and others are not kind – but that’s the whole point. “Be kind always” pertains to what a person can do, not what others should* do.

 

 

As a caveat, I should add, use the quote mentioned above as you see fit to make your situation better. (anyone can put a negative spin or sprinkle some sarcasm into the mix)

 

but that’s all I got, for now, Have a great day Donald.

 

 

All the best,

 

 

-Ryan

 

 

PS. If you cross paths with Hilary, tell her I wish a great day as well 🙂
Note to reader: These past few days I’ve mostly been writing about “safe” stuff. I think it’s about time to step outside my comfort zone. What better place to start than with a controversial figure like Donald Trump?

 

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